50 Airplane Jokes and Pilot Jokes

Flying has a lot of waiting, and waiting is better with a laugh. The best airplane jokes work in a gate area, a crowded cabin or a cockpit at 3 a.m.

The 50 jokes below are clean and sorted into 10 groups, from pilot jokes and air traffic control jokes to riddles for kids. Every group has five, so you can find the right tone fast.

If the flight itself is the problem, our list of things to do on a plane has 30 more ways to pass the time. For caption-ready lines, try our airport Instagram story ideas.

01. Pilot Jokes

Pilots tell the best jokes about themselves, usually while the autopilot does the work. Start here.

1. How can you tell a pilot is at the party? Do not worry, he will tell you.
2. Why did the pilot cross the road? He was taxiing.
3. What is a pilot’s favorite kind of music? Anything with high notes.
4. What is the difference between a good landing and a great landing? After a good landing you can walk away. After a great landing you can use the plane again.
5. Why do pilots love autopilot? It never asks who gets the window seat.

02. Flight Attendant and Cabin Jokes

The cabin crew hears every line twice a day. These are the ones worth repeating.

6. Why did the flight attendant bring a ladder? Someone asked for a seat in the upper deck.
7. What did the passenger say when the cart rolled past without stopping? “That is a drive-by.”
8. Why are flight attendants so calm? They have heard “is the pilot a real pilot?” a thousand times.
9. What is the safest seat on the plane? The one that is already in your upright position.
10. Why did the passenger ask for a pillow and a blanket? He heard the airline was offering a sleeper flight, and he wanted to be ready.

03. Airport and Security Jokes

Everyone has stood in the security line wondering if the shoes really have to come off. Laugh about it instead.

11. Why did the traveler arrive at the airport three hours early? He wanted to see the plane before it was delayed.
12. What did the suitcase say to the conveyor belt? “I am getting a little carried away.”
13. Why do airports have so many chairs at the gates? Because nobody is ever ready to board.
14. What is the fastest part of any trip? The announcement that your gate has changed.
15. Why did the sock go through security alone? It lost its pair at the last checkpoint.

04. Turbulence and Landing Jokes

A bumpy ride is easier to bear with a laugh. These jokes keep their tray tables locked and upright.

16. What did the coffee say during turbulence? “This is not how I take my day.”
17. Why did the plane go to therapy? It had too many ups and downs.
18. What do you call a smooth landing? A rare bird.
19. Why was the cloud so popular? It was always the life of the flight path.
20. What does a pilot say when the landing is a little firm? “Welcome to the ground. It is exactly where we left it.”

05. Dad Jokes About Planes

Groans are the goal. If the room goes quiet, the joke worked.

21. What do you call a plane that cannot stop telling jokes? A wise-crack jet.
22. Why did the airplane get kicked out of school? It kept using high-flying words.
23. What is a plane’s favorite snack? Plane chips.
24. Why do airplanes never get hungry? They always have a little jet fuel in the tank.
25. Why did the airplane show up with a calendar? It wanted a date for takeoff.

06. Air Traffic Control Jokes

Controllers keep dozens of planes apart at once, so they have earned a few jokes of their own.

26. How many air traffic controllers does it take to change a light bulb? None. The pilot will call the tower on frequency and tell it to be ready.
27. Why was the radar so tired? It was always on watch.
28. What did the pilot say when the tower said “hold short”? “I am not short, I am just 40 feet long.”
29. Why do controllers drink so much coffee? Because every flight is a hold pattern for their patience.
30. What is a controller’s favorite number? Niner. It sounds better than nine on the radio.

07. Student Pilot and Flight School Jokes

Learning to fly is equal parts thrill and humbling. Instructors and students will both nod along.

31. What do you call a student pilot’s first solo? A very quiet flight with a very loud heart.
32. How is a flight instructor like a parent? Both say “you have the controls” and then wish they had not.
33. Why did the student pilot bring a pencil to the runway? He wanted to draw a good approach.
34. What is a pilot’s most important checklist item? The one just after “I think I remember this.”
35. What do you call a pilot who makes a great landing on the first try? A liar, or a very lucky student.

08. Airline Food and Seat Jokes

Tiny trays, tight seats and a very small bag of pretzels. The best jokes sit in the middle seat.

36. Why is the airline meal so small? It is trying to fit in with the legroom.
37. What do you call a person who gets the whole armrest? A middle seat survivor.
38. Why did the pretzel love flying? It always got salty at altitude.
39. What is the best thing about airplane food? It makes everything else look like a feast.
40. What did the tomato say on the plane? “I would like to be a juice.”

09. Kid-Friendly Airplane Jokes

These are short, clean and easy to read aloud. They are perfect for long flights with little ones.

41. What do you call an airplane that is always late? A slow-mo-tion jet.
42. What is a plane’s favorite game? Hide and seek in the clouds.
43. Knock, knock. Who is there? Plane. Plane who? Plane and simple, I am ready to fly.
44. What kind of tree grows at the airport? A pine-apple.
45. Why did the airplane smile? Because it was feeling high.

10. Aviation History and Helicopter Jokes

From the first flight to the whirling rotor, the whole story of flight has room for a groan or two.

46. Why did the Wright brothers make good partners? They never took off without each other.
47. What do you call a helicopter that tells jokes? A chop-per comedian.
48. Why was the biplane so confident? It had two wings up on the competition.
49. What did the helicopter say to the plane? “Do not worry, I will just hover around.”
50. Why did the early aviator carry a map? Because the sky did not have road signs yet.

FAQ

What is a good airplane joke?

A classic is “What is the difference between a good landing and a great landing?” After a good landing you can walk away, and after a great landing you can use the plane again.

Why do pilots tell so many jokes?

Long flights have quiet stretches, and humor keeps a crew relaxed and alert. Dry cockpit jokes are a long-standing habit among pilots and controllers.

What are good airplane jokes for kids?

Short riddles and knock-knock jokes work best, like “What is a plane’s favorite game?” Hide and seek in the clouds. The kid-friendly section above has five more.

Are these airplane jokes clean?

Yes. Every joke here is family friendly and safe to read aloud on a plane, at the airport or in a classroom.

Why does a controller say "niner" for nine?

“Niner” is the standard radio pronunciation of the digit nine in international aviation phraseology. It keeps the number clear and distinct on a noisy radio.